Santa hooked the SKINista up this year. I got some sweet-ass goodies under the trees.
Granted, I bought the stuff for myself with my husband’s credit card and called it ‘gifts’. I thought it was especially endearing when my husband handed me my presents and prefaced with “Wait, I bought you this?!”
This was originally going to be another edition of Face-off between Beucle Miracle Pack vs. Skin1004 Zombie Pack. Here’s the thing… I can’t tell if they really work or not. I can’t handle the smell long enough to keep them on and I can’t keep them on long enough to tell if they work.
It’s just a guess on my part but I like to think they call these masks ‘zombie’ packs because once you apply the product on your face, it tightens and pulls your skin as it dries. The mask starts to crack and distort facial features to a point where I can arugably accept some resemblance of zombiness.
I just don’t understand why it has to smell like overripe zombie ass on top of that.
I don’t remember what I was looking for. As I’ve documented elsewhere and rather extensively, I take a sleeping medication every night. I’ve always been a bad sleeper but after I turned 30, it went from bad to practically teething (mothers of infants understand, right?). Good thing about my sleeping med is that it helps me sleep. Bad thing is that there are nights when the medication take a little longer to kick in and I experience what I refer to as ‘cognitive twilight’ when I find myself utterly powerless to resist the pull of online shopping vehemouth otherwise known as Amazon.
It was on such a night a few years ago when Amazon recommended this to me:
I couldn’t help myself. I needed to know. I didn’t know what it cured, just that I probably needed it. It’s a bit foggy but I remember looking at the page and being frustrated that I couldn’t figure out what it was supposed to be used for. All I knew, with absolute certainty, is that I needed to own this product. I needed to take possession of it! I don’t remember when I got off the computer after that but the next morning I woke up on my couch with my hand in a bag of Doritos. And 2 days later, I had a package from Amazon.