I want to believe.

I may have mentioned this before but when I’m not doing crazy things to my face like applying modeling masks that looks like dog-vomit, I try to earn a living as something of a marketer-for-hire (a gal’s gotta pay for her skincare addiction somehow, amiriiiight???).  So it is of particular interest to me when I come across descriptions or advertising for kbeauty products that pique my professional curiosity.

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Review in 5 emojis – Benton Snail Bee High Content Steam line

🐌🐝😍🙊😳

I had read so much about Benton skincare, I didn’t hesitate to order Memebox for Benton when it was unveiled.  The box included mist, skin (toner), essence and cream.  Renewing properties of snail combined with clearing benefits of bee venom?  How could it possibly be anything less than perfect?

benton
It’s not the bird and the bees that make magic – it’s the snails and the bees!

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My safe word is “SuperAqua”

I get a great deal of satisfaction from finishing up a bottle (or a pot) of product. It fills me with a sense of accomplishment. It also allows me to carefully ‘curate’ my next regimen.

After finishing up my Belif essence and cream, I was excited to rearrange my bathroom counter and choose my next regimen:

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Aside from a couple of fixtures like my Skinceuticals Redness Correcting Serum and Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask, I decided to line up re:p products for my next routine.

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Occam’s razor, applied to skin care

You’ve heard of Occam’s razor, right?  Simpler is better.  Clearly, this is not something I’ve adopted when it comes to skincare, as evidenced by my multi-step regimen.  But I’m starting to see some truth in it.

Let me go back a few years to when we first brought home our dog Tiger, the second love of my life.  Truthfully, he is without a doubt the love of my life but my husband gets a little sensitive when he hears me say this, so I compromise by saying Tiger is the second love of my life.  All while keeping my fingers crossed.

Here's Tiger!
Here’s Tiger!

I was so happy to have a dog.  Back when I was a teenager with an at-home permanent and sky-high bangs, my family briefly flirted with the idea of having a dog.  That is to say, one day our dad brought home a German Shepard who did not like any of us.  Just as quickly, our dad took him to the vet and came back alone because the dog had run away.  Or so he said and I was too naive to doubt the veracity of his replay.  I asked if we should go look for him.  My two older sisters exchanged knowing glances and shook their heads.

Perhaps to make up for the guilt I feel about that incident, I was determined to love my dog.  A dog that I found.  A dog that I chose, who kinda sorta went with the flow and let us throw him in our car and drive 16 hours home to NY.  I was determined to win over his affection.  And I was going to accomplish this by letting him lick the shit out of my face.

A few days later, I started noticing small, red, itchy bumps popping up on my heretofore moderately smooth face.  I wasn’t worried because I had done enough research prior to bringing Tiger home to know this was a common result of dog or cat saliva irritating the skin.
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