For all my hoes out there… this was made for you.
This was originally going to be another edition of Face-off between Beucle Miracle Pack vs. Skin1004 Zombie Pack. Here’s the thing… I can’t tell if they really work or not. I can’t handle the smell long enough to keep them on and I can’t keep them on long enough to tell if they work.
It’s just a guess on my part but I like to think they call these masks ‘zombie’ packs because once you apply the product on your face, it tightens and pulls your skin as it dries. The mask starts to crack and distort facial features to a point where I can arugably accept some resemblance of zombiness.
I just don’t understand why it has to smell like overripe zombie ass on top of that.
I don’t remember what I was looking for. As I’ve documented elsewhere and rather extensively, I take a sleeping medication every night. I’ve always been a bad sleeper but after I turned 30, it went from bad to practically teething (mothers of infants understand, right?). Good thing about my sleeping med is that it helps me sleep. Bad thing is that there are nights when the medication take a little longer to kick in and I experience what I refer to as ‘cognitive twilight’ when I find myself utterly powerless to resist the pull of online shopping vehemouth otherwise known as Amazon.
It was on such a night a few years ago when Amazon recommended this to me:
I couldn’t help myself. I needed to know. I didn’t know what it cured, just that I probably needed it. It’s a bit foggy but I remember looking at the page and being frustrated that I couldn’t figure out what it was supposed to be used for. All I knew, with absolute certainty, is that I needed to own this product. I needed to take possession of it! I don’t remember when I got off the computer after that but the next morning I woke up on my couch with my hand in a bag of Doritos. And 2 days later, I had a package from Amazon.
Moisturizing facial oils have been quite the rage for a while. I was intrigued by the idea of using something that I’ve been told to avoid on my face to treat the problems that I thought was caused by it – oil. This sounded like a case of fighting fire with fire and I was dying to try it.
As luck would have it, I received a sample of Fresh Seaberry Moisturizing Facial Oil from Sephora with one of my purchases (Foreo LUNA mini – more on that in a separate post).
Let’s cut to the chase: I didn’t care for it. My first impression was marred by the overwhelming scent that reminded me of that dude in college who wore hemp clothing and talked about libertarianism while toking up on his bed, with a guitar on his lap and Grateful Dead poster next to him. You know, THAT guy.
from Korea Depart:
“The product contains only natural ingredients, safe for the delicate skin of the nipple. It gives the skin softness, moisturizes and restores the skin barrier, feeds. It helps to give a gentle, pink color, darkened skin, has the effect of tattoos, keeping tone for 7 days. It has a waterproof formula. Can be used for different areas of the skin, as well as to create a stable color to the skin of the lips. Color + protection + moisturizing + nutrition at the same time.”
I think it’s fair to say that nail art is like makeup for your hands, but that could also be me justifying my obsession with nail wraps.
I first discovered the joys of nail wraps when I was visiting Seoul two years ago. During one of my days off, I made a last minute decision to go squeeze in a matinee show of K-live at Lotte FITIN. I could not have imagined that my excursion would change my life.
Because on that rainy afternoon day, sitting in a large auditorium which could very easily host hundreds of hologram concert goers, I was among the elite 5 (and the only 5) people there to be entertained by digital projections of staged performances by Psy, 2NE1 and of course, BIG BANG. So the big question is…
Where have you been all my life, G-Dragon?!?!
He epitomizes everything I aspire to be as a woman. The grace! The femininity! The pout! And he wears make up so much better than I do. That lipstick shade he’s wearing in the picture, if I put that on, it would only makes me look like I was on the verge of a very poetic and bed-ridden death due to the consumption. He’s just pretty. So pretty. So very, very, very, unfairly pretty.
But before I would experience this life-altering revelation, I had some time to kill and check out the mall. Now, if you’ve never had the pleasure of being ‘over-serviced’ by the ajummahs (Korean term for older women who are not family) manning various sales kiosks, you might be a little shocked at how aggressive they can be. In my case, I was literally grabbed by the arm and dragged over to a booth for a demo of a nail wrap. My Korean is more than a little rusty so I was taken aback to be manhandled and be… forced an impromptu manicure?!
Bird’s nest. Pig jelly. Caviar. Egg white. Snail extract.
That looks more like an ingredient list for some fusion take on a traditional Bird’s Nest soup.
So how did they end up on my face?